Paid in Exposure

by Jesse Hirsch

Hi everybody. Quickie post, inspired by erstwhile Haul contributor Casey Kuhn! For her fun post a little while back, I sent her a salvage care package. And here is the official unboxing video, wherein Casey discovers shelf-stable cheese:

What a fun video! Casey and I would be IRL friends if we lived in the same city, but I will never exist in or near Washington, D.C. (If I ever do, I'll send you all 100 Slim Jims.) Also, Casey told me she plans to make baked goods using the cocktail mix, which is quite innovative.

Anyway, summer is officially here, one of my favorite times to live in New York City (also spring and fall and winter). Rich people leave town, and everyone who stays behind is more fun and extroverted and sometimes angry, a spicy mix. Speaking of the rich, apparently they like shopping at dollar stores? What a world.

I'll still be posting intermittently all summer. If you want me to send you a weird care package like Casey and Pearse and Alex, all you have to do is write a witty personalized edition of The Haul. (Nicole Harvey and Susan Elizabeth Shepherd and Ed Wiseman I'm looking at you.)

xo,

Jesse

Today we're going to try something a little different. I'm going to deconstruct one thing I cooked, a pastrami Reuben. Pretty sure it's the first time I've ever made one at home — it was inspired by items I snagged at the salvage grocer.

Abby is only familiar with pastrami in its chunkier form, the filler of (overrated IMO) iconic, overstuffed Jewish deli sandwiches. I explained to her that this commodified version is more like honey ham or roast beef, but shares a similar spice profile. She nodded, enthralled as always with my informational lectures.

The veteran Haul reader may remember I featured a beet sauerkraut from this company back in Issue #3 and, more recently, one of their dope kimchis. It's a great company! I'm ambivalent on sauerkraut, generally, as is Abby. But this stuff has a mellower tang than the norm, and an elegant blend of flavors I might dare to call...sophisticated.

We've had this in the cheese drawer for a long time! The problem is that I think of queso as a salty crumbling cheese - this is clearly a different variation, and I didn't know what it would taste like. But we didn't have any Swiss on hand, and this bills itself as a "mild, creamy melting cheese" so I took a chance. (Spoiler: perfect choice.)

I had tried these buns for a turkey sandwich and was displeased - too air-filled and pillowy for general use. However! I used our fancy sandwich press for my Reubens, which basically pressed all the air out of the buns for a much more pleasant mouthfeel.

You know how people often have stories of some booze that they will never drink again after making themselves sick one time? I did that with horseradish, one of my favorite childhood condiments. The details are hazy but I remember overloading some quesadillas with horseradish and making myself sick.

ANYway this company is cute, a small Long Island condiment maker that got famous for its shrimp cocktail sauce (no idea why it has such a weird name, or if you pronounce it like sow or like saw). Despite my horseradish aversion, this stuff ended up being a vital element to a killer Russian dressing recipe I found online. The chili garlic sauce and paprika were also wonderful additions, as was the splash of lemon juice from this very old bottle that was possibly a touch rancid.

THIS WAS A TOP TEN SANDWICH, Y'ALL! I forgot to take a picture, so trust me.