The Life of Riley

Every morning I wake up and empty the pan full of dirty water next to my bed. This water collects overnight from a broken radiator, a problem our building super is aware of but incapable of fixing. I called this water-dumping ritual "emptying my bed's diaper," then realized "emptying my bedpan" is catchier.
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We have to dump a tupperware container full of water out of our fridge every 2-3 days. The fridge also freezes most things on the top shelf, even on the lowest temperature setting. And it completely stops working every few months, forcing us to frantically put all our frozen food in coolers, shut off the electricity, and drain all the ice that collected inside the fridge's innards.
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Our building (not just us!) has had a roach problem for years. We've tried every type of mitigation but they always come back — roaches will be roaches. Just last week we discovered they had ruined an entire bag of bougie purple potatoes.
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Our sweet pup Lola eats clothes, sheets, towels, shower curtains, rugs. Most recently she ate the upholstery of our handsome Mid-Century Modern couch, then ate the stuffing from its cushions. This is not an anxiety response — she's been diagnosed with pica, and will receive behavior therapy this year.
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I've gotten 3 or 4 head colds this winter, including a ferocious one that destroyed most of January. I've also been diagnosed with high blood pressure, and a few weeks ago my thumb had a painful infection that my doctor fixed by slicing it with a small scalpel.
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We also get intense fruit flies in summertime, and occasional mouse invasions. The radiator leak has caused mold issues which need sorting. Some of our neighbors are jerks. Our favorite local bar closed. Long-term friendships are hard to maintain. We haven't been sleeping great. Rent is high. Our toaster oven sucks.
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^These are the thoughts that take up my 2 a.m. mental real estate, wide awake and restless, tied up in knots.
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I was talking on the phone with my mom recently, telling her about a quick getaway Abby and I were taking to Montreal. She said "You two sure do live the Life of Riley!" I didn't know the expression, but it was clear what was meant. My mom followed up: "You guys travel a lot, you love your work, you have a blast together, you eat really well, you live in one of the world's best cities, your pets are adorable, you're safe, you're healthy, you have good friends..."

My mom is 100% right. It's so easy to hyperfocus on the unpleasant and the banal, to lose sight of the bigger picture: We have all that we need, and much more.

xo,

Jesse

How have Uncrustables survived the test of time? Sierra Mist and Fruit Stripe are gone, yet these silly/gross snacks persist?

Did I tell you that Abby and I saw the newest Minion movie at the theater last summer? We were half-drunk, to be fair. I am not a child.

A woman stopped me at the store and asked about my half-gallon of Starbucks cold brew: "Can you heat it up?" I had honestly never considered the question. I told the nice lady it seemed risky.

That is, indeed, a minivan loaded with Top Ramen.

It takes all kinds.

There are weeks, months even, when the surplus grocer keeps a steady supply of the same products, nothing too wild or new. Then there are times, like right now, when every visit brings delightful new treasures and we run out of freezer space and spend too much $ and start to feel like stressed out hoarders. Yeah, this is a Life of Riley problem.

Yes, chef. We ate these a half hour ago, and are lightly concerned we'll get sick. The insides were tasty but the dough didn't achieve the pastry flakiness you see above, even after doubling the cook time. More of a wet noodle texture.

One time I made like 100 homemade steak and cheese egg rolls using fresh dough from the surplus grocer. Abby refused to eat them! She made some crack about "What are we, a Chilis?" and left me to get fat alone. And yet she INSISTED we buy these frozen rolls from the trusted brand "appetizers to go." Divorce beckons.

This looked like fancy whole-grain sandwich bread you might find at Whole Foods. How did I miss the most important two words on the package?

These may not seem like the most exciting item, but they're from Market Basket! For the uninitiated, this is a beloved Boston-area supermarket chain — if you look in the background of this photo you can see my reusable Market Basket bag. I used to live in Boston, and saw more than one fistfight in this store's parking lot.

When Abby got the flu, she suddenly hated drinking seltzer (confusing) so I bought her this 40-pack of Costco water from the surplus grocer. Felt like a suburban dad.