Snapshots

Snapshots
Logo by Alex Hinton, innit?

-Yesterday a woman poked her head inside the surplus grocer and said to the door guy, "Mustafah, you have any Tylenol?" He peered behind the counter where they keep their most precious sundries (pistachios, coconut oil, kratom, Godiva chocolates) and said "No mum, I'm sorry we don't." But I spotted some Walgreens brand acetaminophen and love to be helpful, so I got involved: "Wait there is Tylenol, basically!" Ultimately the lady said she didn't want it because she needs something that makes you sleepy (?), but she was thankful I tried to help. She introduced me to her scrappy little dog who looked like this and was named Tornado.

-The grocer has a cool motorized conveyor belt they use to move products from the downstairs storage area up to the sales floor. This week, I noticed one of the workers was sending multiple crates of avocados* down the belt from upstairs and I inquired further. He scrunched up his face and indicated they had all gone squishy. They were going to dump them all.

*Why is there no "e" in avocados, like tomatoes or potatoes?

-A woman recently asked if I would buy her two half-gallons of fruit punch but I was in a hurry and it was crowded and I said no. Then an older lady agreed to do it and ended up her buying the punch with SNAP benefits which made me feel like a stingy heel.

-There's a worker we haven't interacted with much who gives off big boss vibes. My evidence of bossliness is a) he glides through the store with confidence, b) he doesn't seem to share the menial tasks of all the other workers, and c) he wears a fancy little hat and a gold earring. Anyway they must have been short-staffed (Mala has been on vacation) because boss guy rang me up this week. He observed with a wry little smile, "You drink too much seltzer," to which I yelped "No I don't!" in an undignified fashion. I then explained that it doesn't have sugar and is good for you and quite refreshing; he pretended to care.

-There's another worker I may have mentioned who is quite interested in marrying Abby. He has thick glasses, a shiny bald head, and 100% rascal vibes. Sometimes he pretends we are going to fight and I dutifully throw a few fake punches. Anyway the other day I saw him on the street at like 7:30am as I headed to the subway for morning yoga. I kid you not, he was stopped on the sidewalk, swiveled all the way around to ogle some lady's butt. When he noticed me he got so excited — you know that feeling of seeing someone you know out of their normal context? He made quite a to-do! Duder was like whooping and shouting and doing fist pumps. Very funny at 7:30am.

*

There's a whole seltzer saga going on right now, but I'll save that for another day. Teaser: They ordered a bunch of LaCroix, which I despise.

Have a nice weekend! I love this crisp weather, as I am a stereotype.

xo,

Jesse

This party pack is fairly large and unwieldy and I came home ready to plead my case for why it deserves a chunk of our precious fridge real estate. Luckily Abby is a sucker for charcute, and for fun! The meat and cheese lured her in, but those cheeky little bread things sealed the deal. (LOL it's yet another product stealing Italian valor — made in Jersey, baby.)

Circle K is not a local convenience store. This item reminds me of cross-country road trips, staying at low-end roadside motels and grabbing breakfast at the gas station before another day on the road. These particular sandwiches sucked, though. The Canadian bacon was too tough, so my teeth kept dragging the meat slice outside the sandwich and I'd have to stick it back in manually. Nightmare.

This fresh asparagus was dry and busted up but I figured it was worth a rescue. We put it in a randomly excellent stirfry recipe from a blog, combined with some dollar store tofu. Big win!

Couldn't resist buying frozen Ecuadorian beans. Yes it's for the novelty but I suspect they will be quite good!

Kimchi lasts like, forever. We bought two bags of this upscale brand many months ago and periodically add it to some fried rice or a breakfast bowl — always delicious! I bet the flavor changes subtly each time though, with all those fun little microbes partying down for months.