Reader mail!

Hi everybody,

I have nearly 200 subscribers to this blossoming newsletter, so it surely won't be long before Substack offers me a six-figure sponsorship. In the meantime, let me give back to all the little people who helped launch this multinational lifestyle brand. Time for reader mail!

First off, we have reader "Abby's mom" who wants to see Lola dancing around on back legs in anticipation of her fancy food log. Sure ok let us entertain you. You'll note Lola is Method-trained:

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Next we have reader Alex who suggested I simply throw my swampy stirfry in the ol' compost bin. Why so stubborn? Short answer is that I can get weird and obsessive sometimes.

Longer answer: While the dish was not good at all, it wasn't inedible. It feels wasteful and American to toss out edible meat and veg, even if compost is better than a landfill. Also our municipal compost program doesn't take meat. Also on the scale of food waste prevention, feeding it to Lola would come before composting. Lookie:

Okay, next up is reader "Smashed Goods," a super-smart acquaintance friend I've known since the days of Modern Farmer (300 years ago). Ashley is a surplus grocer enthusiast and a food policy savant, and she also won last week's contest about the origin of the "leftovers game." She didn't remember the specific thing I was looking for, but it might have been a dream I had once or an anecdote I heard at a party.

What she did remember is this piece in GrubStreet about the "soup mother," which nails the concept of the never-ending dish and taught me all about its origins. Thanks, Ashley! Your surplus care package will arrive in D.C. shortly. (please remind me when I forget)

Next up we have reader "We used to be friends but have fallen out of touch and maybe we're both to blame but doesn't feel like good vibes anymore" who wrote in with a bunch of critiques like: "I would be super into learning more about the people who run the store, and the community that sustains it - not just the weird stuff you’re “subjecting” yourself to in a wacky way." (actual excerpt)

Honestly, this newsletter is a light-hearted trifle. I work at a nonprofit news outlet covering supply chain issues, food policy, labor and equity, food insecurity, etc. That is the day job. But I haven't been writing much these days—The Haul allows me to flex my creative muscles and have a few chuckles along the way.

Not to mention: The idea that I am "subjecting" myself to these foods like it's some kind of stunt, exploitative or exoticizing to the business and its customers, is quite a stretch. We get roughly 70% of our groceries from the surplus grocer—we only buy things we want to eat. This newsletter is a slice of my own life. I could write spotlights on the store employees or customers I suppose, but do they want that? Would that somehow be less exploitative? So tiresome.

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Palate cleanser! Final reader mail is from two kind souls I know: Arianna, a talented yoga teacher and jazz singer (with shows coming up!), and Matthew, one of our great reporters at The Counter. Both of these sweeties/liars said my newsletter is "the only one they ever open."

Isn't that nice? Tell your friends!

xo,

Jesse

Featured Items

What can I say? These are simply potatoes. Two bucks for a pound and a half. This brand is owned by Bob Evans, a low-grade Ohio restaurant chain that officially calls itself "Bob Evans Farms"—every location is jammed full of tractors and farm tchotchkes, with a fake grain silo to beckon you in. Anyway, the garlic mashers were decent.

The box was busted up/discolored like this when we bought it but I am not a fussbudget about such things. All those "produce rescue" startups love to brag that they'll sell you like, knobby carrots, would never sell dented cans or dirty cornflake crumbs. And these are good crumbs! Abby went away for a week and I ate like 8 pounds of cornflake-crusted fried tilapia.

(Also! I never knew that the Mexican breakfast food migas actually translates to "crumbs," referring to the tortilla chips crumbled up in there.)

I didn't buy this chonker but can you imagine??

This last one is a doozie. Some fun facts about Gold Peak brand iced tea, a Coca Cola product which we often have on hand:

1) When I was young I was part of a market research testing group where I'd get paid a tiny amount to try new products or give feedback on potential ad campaigns. I was one of the first people to ever try this iced tea! Guess that's a weak claim to fame.

2) Our building super is a big fan of Gold Peak iced tea—he carries around bottles of this size and chugs them while he sits on the stairs and plays loud games on his phone. He is also a jerk, so we take minor pleasure in buying all the Gold Peak half gallons from the surplus grocer.

3) These bottles are haunted! Turn the sound up on the above video to hear the noises emerging from the cap. This is not a joke.