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We finally left New York City, y'all. I rented a 20-foot box truck, larger than any truck I've ever driven (possibly the biggest truck ever invented?), and ran into a van before I even left the rental lot. Like, really smashed right into it. Much damage sustained. The manager, who had a black tear tattoo, seemed genuinely concerned about letting me leave with the truck. "Just...be careful, ok?"

The stress of moving is a predictable cliche, but this one felt particularly rough. A million mini-crises to navigate with aplomb. But actually, were they crises at all? We're on the other side now, notably intact. Everything is fine. There's a lesson here on this too shall pass, or maybe the only way out is through, but I have a feeling the lesson won't stick. When you're in the shit, it's near-impossible to see the other side.

After we did finally make it through, all of our possessions still functional (minus one kitchen chair I smashed with the Tommy Lift), our groceries still edible, our dog still dumb and hopeful, our spirits weary, Abby and I were sitting in the quiet unpaved driveway, light rain a-falling. She turned to me and said, "Let's be here for awhile."

After being vocally, visibly nervous to leave NYC, Abby felt something click upon arrival: Our new life starts now. I don't know that we'll be here forever, but we're not looking for a speedy exit ramp.

This is the first of a bunch of short updates I'm going to send out, like little holiday cards. After all, many of The Haul's ~600 subscribers are loved ones.

xo,

Jesse

We're still working through a shockingly abundant cache of surplus groceries we brought from NYC. We'd been holding onto this for a treat; Sylvia's is a legendary Harlem soul food spot! Finally a couple of weeks ago I decided to use it in a Mexican shepherd's pie. Tasted my batter - the corn oil had turned. Totally rancid.

Abby whipped up some replacement mashed potatoes in the clutch.

I don't know why cream cheese would make regular cheese better but there's a broken little shard in my brain that's like "Let's hear them out." This cheese was abundantly normal, no difference detected.

Side note: It has come to my attention that shredded cheese is very affordable at the supermarket. I was over-paying at the surplus grocer!

Abby says this is the freshest tasting pepper/onion blend we've ever purchased, far less mealy than its competitors. But you wanna know something funny about the brand Supremo Italiano? These veg were grown in China.

(And yes, we brought our entire standalone freezer in the moving truck, filled to the brim with surplus treats.)

These plant-based patties were tight! I ate each one on a toasted potato bun, with spicy homemade slaw, tomatoes, pickles, and ranch dressing. Four sandwiches in four days, folks.

Look at that little patch of mold in the bottom right corner. Do you think we a) threw out this befouled item, poste-haste, or b) trimmed off the naughtiest bits and tried to pretend the entire package didn't have a musty flavor to it?