No one calls me Wendell Berry

My mom bought us an Omaha Steaks sampler box this Christmas. Ok she didn't actually purchase it — she gave us a pamphlet with all the items listed, and called in an IOU. Smartly, my mom deduced we may not have immediate freezer space (Exhibit A), and asked us to call her when we could accomodate:

Four steaks, four pork tenderloins, four chicken breasts, four hot dogs, apple tarts, meatballs, and scalloped potatoes.

Abby and I have been talking about our impending meatbox for almost four months now. It wasn't like, a huge stressor, but not as small as it could be. I've tried to be less shoppy so we'd have freezer space, but I've nay been perfect.

I'll restrain myself from making (non-seltzer) salvage purchases for 4-5 days but then oopsie daisy there's a bunch of Martha Stewart entrees! Curly fries. Silky tofu. Whatever. My resolve is easily compromised.

So our two freezers (standard fridge freezer and standalone basement box) keep making incremental space gains, then suffering devastating losses. Finally a few weeks ago we asked my mom to order the meatbox. We weren't ready, but at some point you just have to do the thing.

Sunday was Omaha Steaks Day. Both freezers were pretty packed with salvage flotsam, so it required a complete item excavation, chipping ice off the walls, then repacking it all with Tetris acuity. But I did it! Omaha delivery has been absorbed.

Happy new week y'all!

xo,

Jesse

I was using these Caribbean condiments to make a zesty aioli when I remembered where they came from:

"Abby! Remember how Ronella brought these for our cookout last summer?"
"JESSE that was two years ago you're going to get sick!!"

Joke's on Abby because my aioli was top-notch and I didn't get a tiny bit ill. When I DMed Ronella to celebrate my lunch she said "😭😭😭 Go to a Guyanese or Caribbean market!" I will take it under advisement.

Chicago correspondent Pearse Anderson holding up one of the very last packages of gummi noodles. (I Googled to see if this product is discontinued and found this item, the BigMouth Gummy Worm Noodle:)

The salvage grocer occasionally lets customers a) pay with an IOU and b) use the bathroom. According to store signage, neither type of behavior is allowed, but that doesn't stop Harlem's pushiest people from making a stink. The workers have soft hearts, because they will break the rules if someone persists.

ANYway yesterday I saw Mala get in an altercation with an older customer because she owed too much for more store credit. The lady started making a loud scene, culminating with these cryptic parting words: "When people speak French,* you should be able to trust them!!" She stomped out and slammed the door.

Epilogue. She forfeited dramatic impact immediately, poking her head back in the door and waving a can of sardines: "Did somebody drop these on the sidewalk?" Mala said she could keep them.

*Most of the employees speak French.

Abby tells me Late July is a fancypants brand, and I believe her!

After my run-in with La Fe's papas rellenas, I thought this was a brand I could trust. Stay woke, y'all. These empanadas pizza (legit grammar) were mushy and meh, and also they cost five dollars!

This big tub of imported sofrito was only $1.50! Abby says that isn't much less than Food Bazaar, and besides we could make this stuff ourselves. Shrug emoji.

I've been overpurchasing pickles, bigtime, but I couldn't resist these little cuties. I wanna lean my head back, pop a slice into the air, and catch it in my gaping maw.

Nde asked me to describe the taste of pepperoncini so I said "It's like a hot pepper except less spicy and more tangy." Is that fair? I bet you could do better.