Logo unboxing

Hi friends,

Bit of an abbreviated issue this week, as I'm doing an involuntary 5K Sunday morning, which means I'll spend most of my weekend making a big deal about it. (I never run, don't like running, probably never will.)

Drumroll please: Time to unveil the official Haul logo!!!

---

If you'd like to see the full-size version, click here. I'm quite pleased with it, very fun, very lively. Each item pictured has particular significance in my life(style); all will be revealed in time.

This logo was created by The Counter's talented young production assistant, Alex. No, I did not assign him the Wintour-ish task of helping with my personal newsletter—he volunteered! In return Alex will receive a surplus grocer care package, a dazzling array of delicious global flotsam.

Alex doesn't care about social media but asked if I could promote this Youtube video of him and his pals getting their heads shaved in Brazil. It's part of his (temporarily dormant) web series The Jar, which is pretty funny! Reminds me of vids me and my buddies used to make back in the day, though we were roughly 50x less charming.

Anyway, that's it for now, but I'll be back next week with a deep dive on seltzer—for the people.

xo,

Jesse

P.S. I wrote a news story this week, about tractors for some reason.

Featured Items

Tailfins! This Aldi product is obviously a Goldfish knockoff—better than the original, IMO. The core flavor is not the same, in a way that's difficult to articulate, though I discovered the secret ingredient may be paprika. We bought two Tailfins six-packs, and foolishly gave one to our friends who were about to make a road trip. Turns out this product is discontinued.

Look how cute these duders are. Three different varieties, and one is a whale. Goldfish could never.

I include this item for three reasons. 1) Shoprite is not a local supermarket chain. 2) Isn't it funny how store brands are all artisanal now? 3) Abby uses lots of yogurt in her fitness smoothies. When I brought this product home as a treat, she said, "Oooh they didn't have Greek yogurt? That's really my preference." I'm still working through my feelings on this.

Sometime during the pandemic I bought like 10 containers of Laughing Cow cheese wedges, a mistake. I ate too much of it; an item I used to enjoy now repulses me. Certainly not the first time I've faced this particular flavor of despair, born of my own overindulgence. (See: horseradish, Lindt chocolates.)

That said, I do still enjoy the little Laughing Cow snackpacks (pictured above) for a treat on the go—they include little breadsticks, which somehow redeems the grimy cheese. And they are shelf-stable, as I recently learned.

Every couple of years I forget White Castle sliders are yucky, and buy them on a lark. I think it's all the pop culture mystique—if stoners like them, gotta be good, no?

No. I tried to stay strong when I saw this box of sliders at the surplus grocer, but the jalapeño flair suckered me in. Predictably, these sliders were quite bad, a problem that starts with the sub-Wendy's beef and extends to the memory foam buns and plastic cheese. (Notice how they make a big deal about 100% beef? Thou doth protest.)

Also: This box cost six bucks! A buck per slider, not a bargain. This is a recurring problem—I assume surplus grocer prices will be a steal, so I don't focus on the price tag. Usually it works out, but from time to time I get White Castled.