This must be the place

On my way to Tel Aviv right now,* for a climate conference/Israeli propaganda tour. It's the longest flight I've ever taken, clocking in at 10.5 hours. There are 100 peppy Christians seated all around me who are embarking on a Holy Land pilgrimage. I'm good at not making eye contact.

Adding another new section to The Haul is a great use of international wifi.

xo, (soundtrack to the Movie of Me)

Jesse

*Made it! I am now in Jerusalem.

When I rent a car to visit my mom in Western Mass, Waze suggests an obscure route winding through ~40 minutes of Connecticut farm country before I reach the highway. Somehow I had never noticed the above store before a recent trip; even then, I only saw it in my rearview mirror. I did an unnecessarily rugged U-Turn and headed back to Ollie's.

The store sucked, though! They had no fresh food, only shelf-stable, heavy on obscure chips and crackers and condiments. Reminded me of the food section at Dollar Tree or Family Dollar. Most of the store was like, cheap throw rugs and off-brand Roombas and scented candles. There were like 3 people shopping in the whole depressing place. I wasted a half hour of travel time and bought nothing.

Back in MAY I bought this grapefruit juice, mostly because the brand is hilarious. I also used to drink a lot of unsweetened grapefruit juice as a kid, probably because of how normal I am. I thought I'd polish this carton off in a week or two, but it seems I've lost the taste!

That's why it's still in our fridge, almost a year later. I tried a small glass recently, just to see if I'd hallucinate, and it was perfectly fine! Something is deeply cursed about this unholy product. I'm forcing myself to finish it off by mixing a bit in each time I have a grapefruit seltzer.

You wanna risk it?

The store was low on seltzer this week but one of the guys alerted me there was a big stash in the back. Duder said "Soda in the back" and I knew exactly what he meant. (I doubt the workers pay too much attention to which specific cans we buy — maybe they think Abby and I are soda fanatics! We would be so overweight.)

Anyway, some lady followed me to the back of the store, a fellow seltzer enthusiast — we scavenged together! Things were going great until she told me that grapefruit seltzer is "nasty." I tried not to get sore but later when she asked if strawberry Bubly is a good flavor I said: "I think it's excellent but why would you trust my opinion? I like nasty flavors." What a petulant toddler I am.

My new pal redeemed herself by laughing loudly and saying "Ooh baby, you got me there!" I love when anyone calls me "baby." Honestly.

Last week Abby talked about our ever-evolving habits and rituals, a topic I love. Case in point: I used to take my coffee with sugar, but now I find it tastes treacly and unpleasant. That's why it is so heroic that I buy this pre-sweetened Stok, and don't make Abby drink any of it. It stretches out our cold brew supply, so we'll never have to buy it at jacked-up supermarket rates.

Another habit shift: Abby and I both used to toggle between hot and cold coffee, seasonally. At some point we turned into those die-hards drinking cold brew in February. We're like the bros in college who wear shorts year-round.

Unmarked fresh mozzarella, anyone? This one's been sitting in the fridge for a bit too long. Top priority when I return from Israel.

Many moons ago I lived in a basement studio apartment in Astoria, just me and my cat and a bunch of furniture and decor purchased by my elderly Greek landlords (there was a sad clown needlepoint). There was a roach problem, but I didn't want to kill the cat with poison. I built green-friendly roach traps filled with boric acid and powdered sugar. The sugar lured them in, but the acid dried them into desiccated little husks. Effective! And non-toxic for kitties.

Hadn't really thought about that memory until I found this fun product at the salvage grocer. Abby's mom visited recently and the two of them enjoyed squirting little bursts of powder at roaches-on-the-go.

I grew up thinking Ken's was very ritzy dressing. My parents would occasionally get their blue cheese on sale and it tasted like the salad you get at restaurant with cloth napkins, aka classy. That's why I bought like 15 of these single-serve ranch cups at the grocer. Typically you would get this item free with every salad purchase at an airport kiosk or a 7-11.

This item came from the backup salvage grocer, aka One Dollar Zone. I simply could not resist. Don't be fooled by the tacky "potato ball" moniker — these are papas rellenas, the most popular croquette in the world, according to some website I found. Picture lightly breaded mashed potatoes, with a core of spiced beef and pork. Abby and I made these the other night when our main dinner plan fell through. We dipped them in Ken's buttermilk ranch, if you must know!