Bit of a situation

by Jesse Hirsch

Pearse is in Scotland — I saw him on Instagram wearing a kilt but implying it might actually be a miniskirt? Some kind of inscrutable humor from the British Isles. Glad he's having fun.

I don't really want to burden the lad with "edits for The Haul" while he mainlines haggis and rides sheep, and it was such a hoot writing last week, so I'm going to pop in here with one more quickie post.

As you can see above, the freezer is in rough shape again. We were doing ok for awhile, but a combination of a big shipment of ice cream from some PR company, a bulk purchase of frozen fruit for Abby's smoothies, and — it's mostly this — my poor impulse control, has put us squarely back in Hoarder Zone. It stresses Abby out.

I've agreed to a seasonal moratorium on salvage grocer purchases (seltzer and iced coffee are exempt). Combined with this being a sober summer and a not-traveling summer, my mood is sure to be breezy and pleasant.

Anyway, here's some Featured Items, for the fans.*

xo,

Jesse

*I got such nice compliments after last week's Haul, I floated several galaxies away.

I've noted Abby's penchant for "adult Lunchables," little snackpacks of charcuterie-adjacent items for the urban sophisticate. Say, a handful of dried cranberries, some almonds, and a bit of gouda. Or like, summer sausage and bruschetta and olives. You get the picture. Not sure why I bought Abby six (6) of the above item, which is made for a sticky child or someone in Florida.

Anyway, I'll be holding my nose and eating these.

I am not familiar with the BOSS line of products,* and this may not look fancy, but one of these refrigerated containers retails for $21 — I got them for $3.99 each. We eatin' fresh crab cakes, bay-beeeeeee!

*I just learned this brand harvests its crab from Venezuela, and for the millionth time I'm marveling at the global supply chain trickling down to our favorite little store in East Harlem.

I love XTREMEEEEEE branding like this, it's so funny. Are you ready to get Max'd, everybody? You might not be able to handle it.

Abby's so pretty, don't you think? Her hat is fashioned out of a freshly purchased 12-pack of Hatch green chile, chicken and cheese quesadillas, which we clearly have room for in the freezer.

Mosaic Foods is one of those Brooklyn-based startups you see advertised on the subway, making a big deal about how you can jumpstart your plant-based lifestyle by subscribing to an expensive delivery service. It cracks me up that these entrees run for $10.99 on the Mosaic website, but they sell them for $1.25 (!) at our second-favorite surplus grocer. I'll admit they're pretty tasty, and Abby ate like five of them while she was sick with Covid.