A bit of coin

Happy Saturday. I'm indoors, breathing the dry raspy air of a space heater, with notes of flatulence from my sleeping pup.

I'm working today, as I often do on weekends. Nights aren't really free spaces either, unless you mean after 9 p.m. — time for ol' pappy's TV programs, no one better interrupt!

My boss is a Haul subscriber, so let me just mention that this is not a complaint. I have a good, rewarding job in media, at a time when that is exceedingly rare. I work a lot, but it's worth it. That said, I've found it increasingly difficult to carve out time for this newsletter.

So I'd like to poll my readers for a second. If I introduced the option for paid Haul subscriptions, would you be willing to pony up? I've always considered this a passion project; I enjoy the lack of accountability that comes with writing a free newsletter. That said, if some of you were sending me a bit of coin it would force me to be more consistent.

Slide into my inbox with your thoughts and feelings!

xo,

Jesse

Remember the fish samosas? This week Abby and I tried them, and are tickled to report they are tasty as hell. We dipped them in some leftover yogurt/dill sauce, which I spiked with green chili/coconut sauce from a long-ago Haul. Abby was startled by how spicy the samosas were, considering they don't even mention heat on the packaging. Also, look at these wholesome ingredients:

Here's the mystery: I can't figure out anything about Mezban by Mahi, the Dallas company that made these killer snacks. Their Insta is a treasure trove of corny delights and I've watched this delightful TikTok like 100 times. But the company website is defunct and they haven't posted on social for more than a year.

@babaandmamajaan

Already bought some 😜 Do you add water too??

♬ original sound - baba & mamajaan

I'm guessing this is yet another small business going under, leaving a truckload of goods to end up in my distant corner of East Harlem. But they've left nary a trace of who they were or what went wrong. Makes me weirdly emotional.

There was a short king in the store today, maybe 50 years old, with a Looney Tunes shirt and a bunch of gold chains. He was buying so much junk food! I am very non-judgmental at the surplus grocer; it brings joy to see my fellow travelers on their own treasure hunts. Still, the sheer volume of Swiss rolls and chocolate croissants and Pepsi gave me pause.

At the end of the order, the man took out a huge wad of hundred-dollar bills. Before he peeled one off to the cashier, he looked her right in the eye and said "Are you judging me?" She didn't break eye contact and said, simply, "No."

Remember last week's spicy discussion of the Martie app? I sent it to the PR rep, then sent a nervous follow-up like "Do you hate me, or?" This is what she wrote back:

HAHAHAH

Oh I'm so sorry I didn't respond. I looked at it immediately, read it, googled "flak" (still not sure what it means) and appreciated your honesty.

Instead of immediately writing back...I had some ice cream instead.

But this is amazing. You are a fantastic and compelling writer. And I'd like to go surplus shopping with you - I like your style. I'm so sorry that you don't have Grocery Outlet on the east coast, it's a dream.

Ok, but for real, keep us in mind on any future articles you are writing for any of your pubs. We're here, and not going anywhere!! Ha!

Now we're in love, sorry Abby. Also one of my readers signed up for a Martie subscription.

I think Abby liked these more than I did. Fun novelty but if I'm honest, breadsticks simply are not my jam. I've never understood why people won't shut up about Olive Garden.

I bought this explicitly to make cheesesteak sandwiches, as indicated on the packaging. Yet I went 100% off-script and cooked my first beef bulgogi with it! Feeling smug about my decision, and the winning results.

Abby is a devoted athlete so I get to hear a lot of loose chatter about "gains" and "splits" and "protein." I bought her this bag of enhanced granola as a special gift for her special lifestyle. She was all "Oh that's very sweet but granola is actually not very good for..." I couldn't hear her over the thunderous sound of my own thoughtfulness.

(Do you think Nature's Valley makes this product by crumbling up their dry-ass granola bars?)

Another product from the company that brought you this confounding pizza. I simply don't understand why they're using real cheese but plant-based meat. It feels like a very confusing way to pair your ingredients - vegans beware!

What if Dippin Dots, but less creamy, more astringent, and with frozen fruit chunks to chip your teeth on? Keep it.